”If I had my life to live over again, I’d be a plumber.” — Albert Einstein
Because plumbers have exceptional wisdom and abilities which raise them above the level of most all of us, they are a vital link in the chain of home ownership maintenance and repair.
It was with this thought that I called Paul Keys at Sewers Drains and More, having wasted enough do-it-yourself time trying to unclog and reconfigure the under-sink plumbing in our kitchen.
In truth, I lost my courage to proceed — which would have been to use my little drain cleaning snake — after I recalled something Master plumber Rod Wood told me 35 years ago about the ancient plumbing in our Victorian house.
“J.T., We don't wanna’ start messin' with these old, galvanized pipes and cast iron drains if we don't have to. No tellin' what will happen.”
Remembering Rod, in his ever-present Flowmaster cap, I couldn’t help but smile as I recalled his truck — piled just above the edge of the bed with assorted lengths of plastic pipe, mud encrusted rubber boots, plumbing parts, assorted tin sheeting, extension cords, rubber tubing, galvanized pipe and a couple of toolboxes.
The cab was stuffed too - the seat and floorboards packed so full of tools, brimming Folger's cans, paper towels, plastic bottles, and boxes that there’s barely room for him. Also, the dashboard; everything from sunglasses to crescent wrenches to washers to drill bits.
"It’s an '84," he told me as I eyeballed the assemblage. "An 1984, Chevrolet half-ton,” he continued as he started it up and grinned through the open window, “with two tons of stuff in the back."
When I got ahold of Paul (who’s carried on Rod’s plumbing relationship with our old house since his retirement), he sent Leroy over. Leroy had been here in our basement a couple of weeks earlier routing out the line from the house to the city sewer connection in the alley. I found him easy going and competent. Got the drain cleaned with very little sewer residue left in his wake.
I went to the basement to inspect the plumbing before his arrival. Talk about something only a plumber should mess with! Below the clogged drain I found a network of splitting and rusting cast iron pipes that were just barely hanging on.
When I showed them to Leroy, he shook his head and said, “I can get your sink unclogged and put back together, but we’re gonna’ have to call Paul and get Austin to replace these large drains.”
Leroy got the drain open and left. I was happy as could be as I headed to the basement to clean up some goo he’d apologized for … only to see some water dripping where the rusted drain enters the wall to connect with the sink above.
Bummer. Time to call Paul … again.
To get my mind off complications and cost of the fix, I decided to check out plumbing history online.
Archaeologists put the first water pipes in the Indus River in India, dating back to 4000-3000 B.C. The earliest plumbing pipes were made of baked clay and straw. We know this because bathrooms and plumbing features have been found in the pyramids for the dead.
By 52 A.D. the Roman Empire had developed complex plumbing systems along with aqueducts, underground sewers, public baths, bronze and lead piping systems, and even marble fixtures.
Paul arrived — looked under the sink and down below in the basement — and confirmed my assessment that it would require cutting into the wall below the sink as well as replacing all the old cast iron pipes.
A project that would take a whole day (or more) and therefore needed to be scheduled for the following week. So, at this writing, we’re on hold.
Thankfully, the drain problem is isolated on the other side of the house so we can still use the bathroom shower and toilet — and the pedestal sink to wash dishes.
While postponed, I couldn’t help but go back to the computer to Google plumbing where I came across a list of plumbing business mottos. Here’s a few clever ones:
“We repair what your husband fixed.”; “We’re number 1 in the number 2 business.”; and “If it weren’t for us, you’d have no place to go.”
— To be continued.
J.T. Knoll is a writer, speaker, historian and eulogist. He also operates Knoll Training & Consulting Services in Pittsburg. He can be reached at 620-704-1309 or [email protected]
