No matter the name—Games of the XXXIII Olympiad, 2024 Summer Olympics, or Paris 2024—the greatest sporting event of the year begins Friday, July 26th, and much of the world will be watching the competitions taking place. This year’s Opening Ceremony plans to be unique, taking place on the Seine rather than inside a stadium, with each country’s delegation riding in boats. And once that’s over, chances are good I won’t tune in much (I’d watch the gymnastics—Simone Biles is a phenomenon—but I’m afraid a fall will result in broken bones or worse and I don’t care to watch that).